A Letter to My Brother

My Dearest Kirk,

It is with my deepest regret that I am writing to inform you of the demise of the green Camry. Upon traveling to church on Sunday it quit in the middle of the street. Thankfully, Matt was planning on a timely arrival and as a result was able to receive assistance in the form of helpful ward members. A kind brother aided him in removing the auto from traffic while a lovely sister helped him get back home then brought the boys on to church. Because he was obligated to his employer that evening he remained behind to attempt to revive said auto.

Upon inspection he found that the timing belt would need to be replaced. Thankfully, he has a great friend in an auto mechanic who has helped us many times before. We were quite concerned as this can be a costly repair and we debated whether it was worth the investment. We soon came to the conclusion that it would be worth it as Matt will be graduating soon and at that time we will be better suited to invest in something new and upon your arrival home we could return the Camry to your care.

We had the work completed on the car and then soon were made aware of the regrettable news that the engine was receiving no compression. Probably the result of a bent valve. This in turn caused the cost of the repair to increase substantially, nearing the actual value of the vehicle. And so the decision was made to bid farewell to the Camry.

While I am quite certain that you are disheartened by this news, please know that there is a bright side to every circumstance. I am sure you will be just as delighted as we are to purchase a car of your own with low mileage that was manufactured within the past decade. I will inform you as soon as a purchase is made. Hopefully sooner than later as I am quite trapped during the day while Matt has my Suburban at school.

With Much Love,
Le



And his reply:



Well crap.



I don't know if you knew, but I always called the camry Veronica. Why? Because Veronica is the name of a fancy high school-er. But it is also the name of a street woman. And as we can clearly see, Veronica, after dutifully serving as the captain of her high school's cheerleading squad, had to deal with one low blow after another, including pregnancy out of wedlock, drinking problems, abusive realationships, and, at the end of her long, slow death, low compression and bent valves.



Well, signing out.

Elder Garrett.